Deman's quest to beat the wall of flesh
by divaliciousdemonpixiebrain3
Summary: Deman has to go on a quest to beat his father...the wall of flesh so that he can save his relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Hi! My name is Deman! I know it may be weird, but I am actually a divalicious, Egyptian, demon overlord, pixie, eskimo, princess (but a man!),ninja turtle, brain, unicorn. I'm married to my wonderful husband, samual the eye of cthulu! He's an accountant! But there's a problem, my dad, the wall of flesh, doesn't approve of my relationship! So I have to travel back home to hell and destroy him!

You see long ago there was a war against the eyeballs and the demons and ever since they have been mortal enemies. As soon as I had my first crush on an eyeball (there big pupils are just so cute 3) my dad kicked me out of my home : C. So I have to DIG my way back down to hell after I get some armor.

My story begins when I'm 12 years old. I was in the most presteegis demon private school and I was in history class and we were learning about boring old hitory. That day there was a new transfer student, something we hardly ever had. It was an eyeball. The other demons in the class were all like "EW" but as soon as I laid my eyes on that beautiful eye I feel in love. I couldn't stop staring at him. Anyway we were learning about how the ancient war. Once upon a time the demons and the eyeball were best friends and were allies in the other ancient wars and almost took over like half of the world. But then something happened. King Eyeball and King Wall Of Flesh (my dad's ansestor) were having lunch together as usual but then the last cinnamon roll went missing. "Did you steal the last cinnamon roll?" King Eyeball demanded. "I did no such thing, it was you you dirty eyeball!" King Wall of Flesh accussed. "Oh I know you did not just go there you cinnamon roll stealer" King Eyeball said. "Oh yes I di-id!" King Wall of Flesh said. They argued about who stole the last cinnamon roll for 3 days before King Wall of Flesh said "You're not my friend anymore, I hate you!" And then King Eyeball was like "I hate you more!" And then they argued about who hated each other more. And that's when the eyeballs and demons became mortal enemies. Except I wasn't paying attention in history because I was too busy staring at my eyeball crush.

Two be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter towo

End of flashback 4 da time being. I was in my newely built wood house that I built with my bear hands. I had my campfire inside my house because I was cold then I noticed the floor was burning and I decided that maybe the camp fire should go outside. So I took it outside and hunted wild slime for dinner and zombies because I love rancid meat. Its delicious. Anyway after dinner I slept on the floor because I ahd no bed because my dad stole my cobwebs and said "remember the cinnamon roll" and then he left and I cried for 12 hours im like 20 now and ive been kicked out for 8 years but I was busy so I just got around to making my house. But yeah anyway I have a wood sword that I made myself lol.

As I stared into the campfire I remembered when my dad got REALLY mad at me. I was 15 and it was the freshman prom. Everyone had a date but me and I was freaking out. Of course I had pepel ask me out but I had no interest in them. There was only one person that I had intereest in and that was the eyeball transfer student (who wasnt really a transfer student anymore by this point). I think he had no date either. Anyway I decided to ask him out in front of the entire caferetia and he said yes. And of course the big bully of the school, Numan, told my dad. And my dad was angwy. "I DON'T APPROVE OF THIS" Dad yelled. And I was like "screw you dad" and he made his Hungry after me and I got cuts. ANyway he also locked me up and made me miss the prom! And of course my eyeball date took it the wrong way and thought I abandoned him on purpose. It was over forEVAR. I cried 10 times. After that I turned into a rebel.

One day I was in hell and I walked up to my dad and said "hey dad watch this" I kicked over his trash can and said "fuck you and your cinnamon roll" and that was the last ive seen of hell since. Now im just sitting here in my wood shack that was half burned thanks to the fire. This reminds me of the time I saw a whyvern and it chased me down and killed me and I t took me like 10 minutes to respawn after that one. It was a pain in the assicles. And then it followed me and spawned kill me I /3 whyverns and I hope they all die and never exist and too many harpies spawn for htem to be there.

Anyway cinnamon rolls are m y least favorite food

three be continued


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3

anyway I decided that I probably should actually go to sleep this time so I curled up on the floor and fell asleep in my own tears iw oke up in like 3 hours to the sound of zombies inside my house because I forgot to close the door, "shit" I whispered dramatically. This reminds me of the one time this whyvern just came through the walls of my house it fucking teleported because it's a fucking hacker. Anyway I grabbed my wooden sword and after like 5 respawns I killed the two zombies in my house, closed the door, and went to sleep until a whyvern decided to teleport and kill me and then I just stayed awake because I gave up.

And then I remembered my mission: to destroy my dad. I had to get upgrades if I was tot ake him on. So I decided it would be smart to go into the Crimson. It wasn't very smart. I was standing on a ledge when a stupid blood crawler pushed me off and I died. I hate blood crawlers so much, they remind me of my dad. He also pushed me off ledges. I decided that I needed to fight weaker enemies before I moved to the stronger ones. So I went underground. I digged and diggered and digged until I found a gold chest! Inside was a magic mirror (which is useful) and a weird item called the suspicious looking eye. I decided to keep it because I might need it later. Anyaway, I fell and died because of another stupid spider. I decided to make a bow so I could kill monsters most easily.

I was thinking of the spiders later when I remembered the whyvern I remembered how much I hate those motherfuckers I think maybe I hate the spiders almost as much as them that's when a whyvern teleported an d killed me. Nope still hate them a lot more. Anyway my bow was rockin my wood arrows but I learned quickly that I still can't win in the crimson because of those stupid fucking ledge pusher spider asses. Anyway I started by killing slimes. It was hard. I had a ninja turtle mask on which I loved a lot it reminded me of my childhood my whyvernless child hood the good times. Before my dad hated me and the dark world thrust upon me whyverns and spiders.

I decided to go mining for ore. I was gone for 5 days. I found gold, silver, copper, and iron ore. I made a better bow out of gold. I decided to go to the other side of the world and I found snow! I made my new house there but then I got cold so I made a campfire in the house. Except my house was made of snow

so it melted and I had to start over. I made a new house out of wood and didn't put a campfire in it this time.

Help me im scared. A spider has found its way outside of my house and is making its im gonna push you off ledges spider noise.

2 b continued 4evar


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The spider didn't leave until morning. I haven't slept in 5 days. I am tired. I am dying. I decided to go out into the snow. Damn its cold. Like its so cold that I wish I was in hell again except I remembered my father and changed my mind "im a rebel demon I like snow" I said outloud. And then I heard my dad go "shut up" shit he can hear me. Anyway I decided that I was going to dig under the snow to see what I would find that's when I fell from far up and I died and respawned. I buried that hole.

I decided if I was going to survive in the snow I needed some clothes. So I decided to hunt some birds (which took forevar because they rarely spawn) and made a feather suit. It kind of worked. I looked in my reflection and I looked like a chicken. At least it was close to halloween.

I was sitting in my home looking in my mirror that I found and reflecting on how much I look like a chicken when I heard the ominious sound of "mmm chicken wing" and a whyvern flew in and ate me and I was so fucking pissed I worked my ass off to get those feathers you asshole im not a fucking chicken wing you fuck off I hate you. I cried and I got tears on my feathers and some of them fell off. I had to glue them back also I was like really scared since whyverns cant be stopped.

I woke up in a puddle of my own tears and some feathers. I had a nightmare abotu whyverns. I decided to flee into the underground. There I found some new items. I teleported back to my home in the snow and I made a bed. That's when I realized the stupid guide moved into my house. "Get out of my house you loser" I said. Then I heard the omnious "mmm chicken wing" and the whyvern appeared and I was eaten again. I spawned and the guide laughed at me. "Fuck you and fuck that stupid whyvern, I am not a fucking chicken wing you piece of crikey shit" I cried and blew my nose on the guide's shirt. He slapped me. I cried myself to sleep that night.

When I awoke the next morning I found something in my bed with me, it was the whyvern. "hey baby hows the chicken wing" the whyvern said and then devoured me. "THAT WAS NOT FUNNY I HATE YOU WHY DO YOU THINK IM A CHICKEN WING WHY WONT YOU STOP HARRASING ME IM GONNA TELL THE ENTIRETY OF TWITTER ABOUT THIS I CANT BELIEVE THIS SOMEONE THINKS IM A CHICKEN WING" then I told the story on twitter and someone retweeted it, I checked, it was the whyvern. Also the whyvern had submitted a picture, it was him with the blood stain I left "just chillin with my baby the chicken wing 3"

Anyway the guide wouldn't leave so I asked him "what the fuck do I do now". He took out the suspicious looking eye out of my chest that I had completely forgotten about and he said "Use this at night" and I was like ok. He also told me to prepare, but for what he never said. SO I figured he meant prepare for the stupid whyvern. I made lots of arrows and made an arena. I was ready to settle it in smash. When it turned to nighttime I used the suspicious looking eye. FIVE BE CONTINUED


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

So I ued the suspicious looking eye, and prepared my feathers for the whyvern, but out came the most attractive thing ive ever seen. A giant eye. I looked at him and was ready to confess my love when he killed me. I have never been so devastated in my life. I love you eyeball why cant you accept me. "because ur a loser" I heard my dad say "also I hate you get out of my house" "I'M NOT EVEN IN YOUR HOUSE" and then the whyvern ate me.

When I respawned I knew I had to see the eyeball again and confess my love. Maybe he love me too I thought. I went underground and decided I would stay there until i found another suspicious looking eye. I was in there for 2 weeks before I died of dehydration. Then the guide told me that there was tons of suspicious looking eyes in the dungeon. I asked him how did he know that. "My good friend WHyvern told me" the guide said. "you trust that piece of shit?" I asked. And I prepared myself for the whyvern but it never showed up. I decided to go to the dungeon. I found it after 2 days. As soon as I was about to enter the dungeon, I heard omnious laughter followed by "mmm chicken wing". I woke up in my house in the snow. "I hate my life" i whispered.

When I woke up I saw the guide eating something…it was a chicken wing. "WHY" I screamed "WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME LIK ETHIS I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW IM A DIVALICIOUS EGYPTIAN DEMON OVERLORD PIXIE ESKIMO NINJA TURTLE UNICORN BRAIN AND I HATE YOU" "NO ONE LIKES YOU EITHER" my dad screamed. "SHUT UP DAD IM TRYING TO BE INTIMIDATING" I heard a laugh beside me and the whyvern was there and it said "hi chicken wing" and ate me. You could hear the echos of my scream "MY NAMES NOT CHICKEN WING" from inside of the whyvern. I then respawned.

Anyway I made my way into the dungeon. There was an old man but I ignored him. As I descended into the dungeon, I heard omninous laughter and a giant skeleton head charged after me and killed me. "what the fuck just happed" I asked after I respawned. "you stupid idiot you have to kill skeletron first" guide said. "everyone knows that, except you cause ur dumb" and I was like "fuck you" and stole his cinnamon roll. and then I heard the omninous sound, "mm cinnamon chicken wing" and the whyvern ate me again.

So I went back and tried to kill skeletron but it was day time and he would not spawn so I just sat down and cried. An the old man just stared at me the entire time like a stupid asshole

2 be continued in chaptor 6


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